my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
