I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
