what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Randomize
