I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
