I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
