You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
