Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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