Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize