is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
