Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If I have put a neon “vacancy†sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
