And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
