How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
