Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
