Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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