just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
