white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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