I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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