Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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