Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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