Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just had sex on a roof
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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