before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
