and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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