What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize