Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
