State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
