Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
