well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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