this just has baby written all over it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
