dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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