Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
