Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
