Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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