it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
