the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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