why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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