I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
