you would pick up someone in the library
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
