he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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