Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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