i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
