OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
