He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
