U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize