fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
