They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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