she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
