You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
