So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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