I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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