So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
