We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize