Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
