I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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