I hate your face
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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