omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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