Define "chronic" masturbator.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
