I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize