You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
