ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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