I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
