I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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