Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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